Meet Anita
I feel like I have lived many lives. I like all women, am a composite of many roles and experiences in my life with thoughts, beliefs, fears, strengths and shortcomings. Like all of you, there have been pivotal, life-changing, life-defining moments that have shaped my life to who I am today.
I am first generation Italian. I am the oldest of three, 2 girls and a boy. The world in my home seemed galaxies apart from the world I lived in, in comparison to when I crossed our threshold to go to school and spend time with my friends.
The environment in my home was very misogynistic. Boys were supposed to be smarter than girls. Girls do not need an education as it will be wasted because we are destined to be married. That was the goal for girls so that we would be taken care of. Boys are to be waited on hand and foot because when they grow up and get married their wife will take care of them. How did all that work out? Read on.
All of this created a fire inside of me. In high school I fought my dad tooth and nail to be allowed to go to University. “Good girls” (Billy Joel song, anyone?) do not leave home until they get married. If they do, they will become “sluts”. Can you start seeing a pattern in these messages?
I did go to University and I graduated as a Chemical Engineer. Sounds great, right? Did I want to be an engineer? Not particularly. Why did I do it? Because I could and it was to prove to my Dad that girls can be smart!
After I graduated and I started working in my hometown I met a really great guy, whose parents knew my parents and a year later I got married. Did I want to get married? I thought so. If someone had told me, don’t go ahead with this marriage, would I have listened? I would not have known how. Should I have gotten married? Knowing what I know now, no way!
Fast forward, the next man I married was perfect because my Dad didn’t like him. He said he was “too spoiled”. I took that to mean that my Dad thought “I” was not good enough for him because he was too good for me, so I wanted to prove my father wrong.
We had two amazing daughters! In raising these 2 beautiful human beings, I started to see myself differently. I wanted to be the best parent I could be. That meant rewriting all of the messages I had internalized.
Throughout my marriage to their dad, I had allowed myself to give up my power the way my mother’s generation and the generations of women behind her had. I had lost that fire from so long ago. I was emotionally beat up and too scared to move forward even though I was one of many women in his travels.
One day, my 16 year-old said to me, “Mom, you do not have to live this way.” Whoa!!!!! This was one of those pivotal moments I mentioned earlier. If I stayed in the marriage, I would be giving my daughters the message that to be treated with disrespect and disregard was acceptable. I do not know where I found the courage and the strength! I finally said ENOUGH! I was tired of living a life based on other people’s expectations. ENOUGH! My daughters deserved better and so did I!
Now, 12 years later, we not only survived the gut-wrenching, emotional period that included a financial battle (did you know that there are fathers that think it is okay to not pay child support). My girls have both graduated from University. My oldest has a Master’s in Education. They are both thriving, amazing young women in healthy relationships. I am so fiercely proud of them!
What I learned through this challenging period;
♥ You need the love and support offered by your friends, family, counselors and coaches, because you are NOT alone, even though it feels that way
♥ You are stronger, more resilient and powerful than you know
♥ Forgiveness is the path to emotions and mental freedom to live your best life
♥ You have unlimited, untapped potential waiting to be unwrapped
♥ Paying it forward is how to take what life throws at you, that knocks the wind out of you at crippling speed and using these experiences to lift other people up to give powerful, empowering meaning to all our experiences.
I have lived a life that was expected of me, until one day I said ENOUGH! Now, I have created a Coaching Business where I help women find their voice to discover they are more powerful then they think they are, to be who they were destined to be and live the lives they were meant to live.
If you have that voice inside your head or that ache in your heart, knowing that there must be more, no matter how big or small your dreams are, I’m here to help you understand why and develop a voice for yourself to go after it!!
Find out if working with me is the catalyst you are looking for
Credentials:
iPEC Certified Professional Coach
Energy Leadership Index - Master Practitioner
COR.E Leadership Dynamics Specialist
COR.E Wellness Dynamics Specialist
